I wondered about myself as a parent, my future child and the child’s first parents.  (I will use “first parents”, because in our home we talk about how my child has many families who love him.)  I had heard stories about children who trash the house, hoard food, steal, set the house on fire, are oppositional, and the list goes on.  What would I say to the first parents if we ran into each on the train? (Did I say I have an active imagination? Can we say getting ahead of ourselves?)  My gut reaction to most of these situations was: I couldn’t deal with that!  Maybe this is not a good idea.” It was not, “Oh, how could I deal with these difficult situations?”  Ack! The Fear Factor!

Spoiler alert: none of my worries have come to pass. 

What has happened is that:  Together, we have made a family. I have a bright loving son.  I love him dearly. He is growing beautifully. He has helped me grow in ways I could never have expected. I have learned to advocate for my son and other black boys.  What I could not have imagined is that my theme song would be “What You Won’t Do for Love”.  

Lots of things have happened that I could not have anticipated. Some days are hard! New ideas and worries—and possibilities—come up and I deal with them (with lots of help)!  We are blessed to be part of a beautiful community with many families who love my child and us.  I continue to meet and learn with and from other adoptive families. And I pray!

And the story continues. The end has not been written yet. (Cue up the song: Every day, I Write the Book).

Bea Hopewell