Adoption has its own language and words and names.   In adoption speak in America, we are a “forever family”.  My precious boy “came home” to his “forever home”.   Speaking about a forever can help a child feel rooted as they try to make sense of a big change and move. (A “forever home” sure sounds better than an ‘adoption placement’.)

You’ll find there is more than one word for the same thing.  In some states in the U.S., there is a department of child welfare.  Other states have child protective services or departments of children and families.  Children may have social workers or resource workers. I even had terms.  At first, I was “a pre-adoptive parent” and then “an adoptive parent”.  A child who was adopted is an adoptee. There are birth parents and first parents. Some people use biological parents. People look for terms to honor the roles of the important people in children’s lives and along their adoption journey. 

Adoption language has changed over time.  There are many reasons why we use some words and no longer use others. Our society’s values and understanding have changed about what children need. We know more about adoption.  Adopted adults have spoken up.   People have advocated for change. We realize over time that some terms feel hurtful or are harmful to children and their parents. More research has been done.  Using people-first language may lead to more shifts.  Maybe one day someone can study the changes in adoption lingo—and the advocacy it took to get there. 

We can expect our language to continue to evolve as we learn more about adoption. We can hope that as we know better, we can do better.

Bea Hopewell